Adventures in Extreme Babysitting: The Arrival of Baby Boy!
The big day arrives for Surrogate Beth and Intended Father Nick! In this segment of their surrogacy story, they share their experience of labor and delivery during COVID.
Adventures in Extreme Babysitting is a surrogacy blog series compiled by Heartland Surrogacy. In this series, we follow the journey of Intended Father Nick* and Surrogate Beth*. They share their thoughts and feelings at various milestones in their surrogacy journey.
Nick, what were some of the thoughts you had during labor and delivery? How were you feeling?
Our labor and delivery story did not go as planned. Beth had a somewhat slow labor to begin with, was induced, and labored for 4 hours before giving birth in a painful 15 minutes. It happened so fast that the nurse had to deliver my son! I also happen to have been off the hospital floor looking for cookies to treat the staff and B! But in the end, the birth story perfectly fit the journey in so many ways. When discussing the birthing plan, I told Beth that I just wanted to cut the cord. In the end, I just wanted her and the baby to be healthy. And all that came true. She gave birth, I arrived (albeit a couple minutes late), cut the cord, and held my son.
What was your first thought in seeing your son?
“Hair. Such a full head of hair! I knew it.” That was it. Exactly what I thought first.
What changes, if any, have you noticed in yourself since your son was born?
I think a calm has come over my life. There was a lot of stress during the journey, especially because of the pandemic, but it was all worth it because my son is now at my side. I don’t even think about the little, insignificant things I used to worry about. My whole life focus has shifted for the better. He comes first now and I love that.
What has been the biggest surprise in your new life as a parent?
My biggest surprise is how open and caring people are towards my son and I. And I just want them all to share in my joy. My other surprise is how much laundry a newborn can create!
How do you see your relationship with Beth in the future?
We plan to remain friends and keep in touch. I want my son to grow up with some kind of connection to her and her family. I have no expectations or rules; just whatever feels comfortable and effortless. She is an amazing person and I can’t see her not being a part our lives in some way.
Beth, what were some of the thoughts you had during labor and delivery?
Given the speed of my previous deliveries, and the limitations in place because of COVID, we decided to schedule an induction for 39 weeks. About 4 hours after the doctor had broken my water, I was only about 5cm dilated, so I decided I wanted to get an epidural for the second half. The idea was that once the epidural was in place, Nick would join us in the room for the rest of my labor. Our nurse went off the find the anesthesiologist, only to come rushing back in when she heard my screams from down the hall. There was no time to find Nick, as baby was coming whether we were ready or not! The moment he was out, and I could put two words together again, I looked at my husband and said, “You need to call Nick!” The doctor came in while we were waiting for Nick to arrive and we all agreed to wait a few minutes to cut the cord. Thankfully, Nick arrived quickly and was able to cut the cord and start the all important baby-snuggling!
How did you feel after delivery?
It was such a joy to see Nick with his son! While in the hospital, my focus was on feeding baby and pumping – while bingeing some of my favorite shows on Netflix 🙂 When it was time to be discharged, we all walked out of the hospital together. I watched Nick load his son into the carseat for the first time and was totally taken back to those uncertain, but exciting first moments with my own babies. At the same time, I was more than happy that the “extreme babysitting” job was over and baby boy was ready to go home with his daddy!
How do you see your relationship with Nick in the future?
We’ve been happy to receive texts, photos, and videos as Nick and his son settle into life together. I agreed to pump and we’ve been able to meet up regularly to stock their freezer. Although it’s a lot of work, it’s been a great excuse to see each other and get some baby snuggles! I think we all agree that we’ve formed a lifelong bond and plan to stay in touch – however that looks.
You can read more about Beth and Nick’s incredible journey in other segments of this series.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.