What are good gifts in surrogacy?
There is much cause for celebration in a surrogacy journey! Many people, including the surrogate, intended parents, coworkers, and loved ones want to commemorate this amazing endeavor with a gift. Large milestones such as matching, a positive pregnancy test, and, of course, the birth are wonderful opportunities to do so. But a thoughtful message or item can bring joy at other times as well, for surrogates and intended parents alike.
Best Gifts for Intended Parents
The path to parenthood can be trying for many intended parents going through surrogacy. In fact, emotional support is itself an enormous gift. Thoughtful cards, emails, and texts can show you care and are keeping them in mind. There are also many other options for gifting.
Donation for Family Building
Depending on your relationship with the parent(s), you may wish to give monetarily. Surrogacy is an expensive undertaking, and many parents have a crowdsourcing fund where their “village” can contribute to the process. Alternatively, you can donate to nonprofit organizations that advocate for intended parents, such as RESOLVE or Men Having Babies.
Holiday, Birthday, and Anniversary Gifts
Gifts during special holidays can pay tribute to the family the parent(s) currently have and what the holiday will mean in the future as their family grows.
During a Surrogate Pregnancy
Many intended parents like to be involved in the pregnancy through bump pictures from their surrogate and attending doctor’s visits. Acknowledging and celebrating their pregnancy can also help build that connection.
Personalized care packages and baskets are an excellent way to share multiple small items you know the parent(s) will appreciate. Fill a basket with their favorite snacks, beverages, pampering items, etc. If you are not local to them, consider putting together goodies from your area.
Loved ones with a close relationship to the parent(s) may want to contribute a larger gift. Photoshoots of the parent(s), alone or with the surrogate, will provide beautiful memories to be shared online or printed. You may also consider organizing a baby shower.
For Siblings
If the intended parents have other children and know about the journey, consider gifting them a book about surrogacy to help explain the process. Books that feature other families growing through surrogacy can help the children identify with others.
Pajamas to match with the new baby(ies) can help build the excitement near the end of the pregnancy. These will come in handy if the parents have a photography session after the baby is born. An easy, matching outfit for all children makes clothing one less thing to think about for the likely tired parent(s)!
After Welcoming Baby
The responsibilities of caring for a new baby can be exhausting for any new parent! Sometimes just having a meal can prove to be a large task in the early days, so prepared meals can provide much support. What about a meal delivered from their favorite restaurant? If you know the parents well enough to know they would find it helpful, you could also hire a cleaning service for a day.
For parents that enjoy taking pictures of their baby’s monthly anniversaries and other milestones, there are many options of blankets, blocks, and boards with milestone details that can be used as photo props. Special baby outfits can also be used in photos and pay tribute to the parents’ family-building journey. Onesies reading “Worth the Wait” and “Made with Love and Science” are popular for families built through IVF and surrogacy.
Do you want to help the parent(s) with something more practical? Consider useful, tried-and-true necessities for young families, such as a baby thermometer or baby carrier.
Gifts from the Surrogate to the Intended Parent(s)
As their surrogate, you have a unique relationship and view of their journey. A handwritten letter to them and/or the baby provides a personal touch that no one else can share. It’s also likely to stay in the family for a long time to come. Framed embryo and ultrasound pictures from your appointments can be a reminder in their home of the beautiful journey your team is on.
Some surrogates wear a special necklace with a small bell on it during the pregnancy. When the baby is born, they gift the necklace to the parent(s), who then play the soft noise for the baby. Like white noise, it is thought to soothe babies through the reminder of a place of comfort and safety.
Another creative gift is a recording of the fetal heartbeat. Options for presenting it include the heartbeat soundwave engraved on wood or glass with a personalized message, an engraved QR code that will lead to the audio file, or a recording of the heartbeat in a stuff animal that plays when you squeeze it. Remember, you are giving the biggest gift by being their surrogate, so additional gifts are never necessary!
Best Gifts for Surrogates
While the surrogates we work with never expect gifts, there have been many times when we’ve been asked for ideas. Surrogacy is a large commitment and we find that others want to support them during their journey.
Personalized Surrogate Gift Basket
You can create a sweet gift basket for a surrogate by combining multiple small gifts. Include items like snacks, chocolate, tea, jewelry, soft socks, or their favorite lip balm. Many local retailers also have ready-made gift baskets or bundles. You can gift them something they will enjoy while supporting a local business!
Some of our favorites in Iowa include Beaverdale Books, Molly’s Cupcakes, and Adorn Gift & Home. In Oregon we enjoy Camamu Soap, Missionary Chocolates, and Tea Chai Té.
Gifts for a Pregnant Surrogate
When the surrogate is pregnant, they may enjoy a pampering gift or service tailored to their well-being. A set of their favorite toiletries, a spa service – East Village Spa in Des Moines and Zenana Spa in Portland are two of our favorites – or meal delivery during a busy time can all be much-appreciated surrogate gifts.
After a Surrogate gives birth
While a surrogate does not have a newborn to care for after the birth, they will need time to recover. A service such as housecleaning or additional childcare can help not only them but also their family during this recovery period. Sending prepared food can also alleviate some of the household duties.
Gifts from the Intended Parents to the Surrogate
The best surrogate gift is a supportive and honest relationship. Open communication, respectful boundaries, and shared milestones are essential in a surrogacy journey. Some intended parents may choose to bestow presents and other tokens of appreciation on their surrogate. Major milestones in your journey, such as transfer, the anatomy scan, and birth, are excellent moments to commemorate the journey with a gift.
Gifts for Surrogates on Transfer Day
The surrogacy transfer day can be a symbol of the beginning of the journey. Many intended parents and surrogates celebrate this exciting milestone by getting together for a meal and/or outing. For a gift, you can present your surrogate with flowers, their favorite treat, or a candle with a calming scent for those two-week-wait nerves!
There are many superstitions surrounding embryo transfers, so it is a perfect opportunity for fun and lighthearted gifts. Pineapples are used as a symbol of support in the infertility community; they are also representative of the different types of fertility after obstacles. Because of that, you can find them decorating many items such as socks, glassware, and greeting cards.
Surrogate Care Packages
If you are not local to your surrogate, a mailed care package can be a loving way to connect with them. You can prepare one on your own and include a nice handwritten message or other personalized memento. There are also many online companies that create, and can customize, care packages sent directly to a surrogate. Bump Box is one company that can specifically tailor boxes to surrogates. We also work directly with Olive Grove, a small Iowa business that curates individual and recurring boxes for our clients. You can reach out to Rachael Olive for more information.
Gifting Services at Heartland Surrogacy
Did you know that as our client, gift concierge is part of your included services? You can surprise your match with a personalized gift and benefit from having us manage another detail in your journey! Reach out to us here with questions!
A gift to someone on a surrogacy journey shows them you understand the enormity of this undertaking. Commemorating their experience and honoring them is invaluable as you celebrate with them during this time.