In this segment of Adventures in Extreme Babysitting, Nick and Beth share how they knew this match was right for them.
Adventures in Extreme Babysitting is a surrogacy blog series compiled by Heartland Surrogacy. In this series, we follow the journey of Intended Father Nick* and Surrogate Beth*. They share their thoughts and feelings at various milestones in their surrogacy journey.
Nick, how did you know the match felt right?
I knew the match was right in my gut, but it is difficult to explain why. She immediately made me feel comfortable. We made casual small talk when we first met, but then I had no problem opening up to her about my dream of becoming a father! Beth also openly shared with me about her family and her past journey as a surrogate. Her story connected with me.
My friends knew matching with a surrogate is what I was most nervous about; this woman would likely be a part of our lives forever! I wanted a surrogate that was open to an ongoing friendship and connection after the baby had arrived. I hoped my surrogate would be compassionate, supportive, easy-going, and strong.
I (im)patiently waited after Heartland let me know they were looking for a match. After I said yes to the profile I was presented, I met again with Brie at a local café. Beth came with her husband and kids (sadly the cafe wouldn’t allow their dog to attend!) to discuss our possible match. Her husband is such a friendly guy and made me laugh more than once. I appreciated his openness with his feelings and opinions on Beth’s past surrogacy as well as his feelings on her considering being a surrogate for me. Their kids were friendly, smart, and mature, and I hoped they would also have positive opinions of me. They were originally going to be with a sitter, but those plans fell through. I think that it ended up being better having the whole family at the meeting because it really is a family decision to help me on my journey. We all talked over beverages and learned more about each other. There was, of course, a lot of surrogacy talk, but also a lot of casual fun topics.
I really enjoyed meeting Beth’s family and envisioning them being part of my journey and beyond. We all had a night to think on the decision and the next day we all agreed that our match felt right. Meeting with Beth and her family made me know the match felt right.
Beth, how did you know you wanted to match with Nick?
I had a great feeling after initially reviewing Nick’s profile. I was looking for a match with someone who would understand and appreciate my entire family’s commitment to the surrogacy process. It was a bonus that he lived only about 45 minutes away! I was excited that Heartland Surrogacy was able to coordinate an informal, in-person match meeting for us.
My kids ended up joining my husband and I at the match meeting. Nick was very accommodating when our sitter fell through, and I think it really worked out for the best, because the interest and respect he showed my kids only confirmed my feelings that we would be a good match!
It seemed as though our answers to every question Brie went over with us – communication preferences, views on termination, contact after the delivery, etc… – had us on the same page. (We also got distracted and talked about a lot of non-surrogacy related topics, but that only made us more comfortable with each other!) It became apparent that Nick was a loving and caring person, with a passion for children. I left the match meeting excited for him to start his family!
After talking things over with my husband, we decided we wanted to move forward with the match. We were happy to hear that Nick felt the same!
You can read more about Beth and Nick’s incredible journey in other segments of this series.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.