How to Write a Letter to Potential Surrogates | Dear Surrogate

What do I say in my introduction letter to potential surrogates?

What do you say to someone you’d like to carry a baby for you? Your letter to potential surrogates will be an important part of your profile, so we understand it may feel like an overwhelming task! Here we share some information about the introduction letter and some tips on what to include.

letter to potential surrogates

Your Matching Profile

After you completing your application with Heartland Surrogacy, you will begin working on your matching profile. The matching process is an exciting part of any journey, and creating your profile will be the first step in finding your match.

Your intended parent profile will include a letter to your potential surrogate. This letter is a great tool to introduce yourself and a chance to let your personality show through. It may not come naturally to write an intimate letter to a stranger, but it will be only the first of many unique and personal situations you’ll share with your surrogate. You’ll be on an incredible journey with her, so the most important thing is to be yourself!

Start with Gratitude

Before diving into details, it’s a good idea to start your letter by expressing your gratitude to your potential surrogate. It might seem obvious that you are grateful, but there is no substitute for saying outright. It will help you “start off on the right foot” when you acknowledge the generosity she is offering.

Talk About Family

Surrogacy is a family building journey. Talking about your family, related or chosen, will show your potential surrogate what they mean to you. When you share information about the special people in your life, it will give her an idea of the love that you are bringing to the journey.

Many surrogates are also motivated after witnessing infertility in their own families, so these details can help her feel more connected to your story.

intended parent and surrogate match

Why You Want to be a Parent

Share with your potential match why you want to become a parent. Describing your motivation will give her insight about what the journey means to you. We understand that some of the decisions that led you to surrogacy may be very personal; it’s ok to be private about some details. Focus on being making a heartfelt connection helping her understand why you chose surrogacy for building your family.

What You Want in Your Journey

Your parent profile will list your general preferences for matching, as well as your expectations for the journey. It’s ok to repeat them in your letter, and you’ll also want to share what kind of relationship you are interested in building with your surrogate. Be open about what you want communication to look like, even if you don’t have a specific idea of how often you want to connect.

These are some details to consider: What kind of updates would you like from her during the journey? What kind of communication do you want to have after the delivery? If you’d like to focus on open and honest communication, but don’t have expectations about the logistics, that’s ok to say too!


The goal of the “Dear Surrogate” letter is to show your personality and what you are bringing to the match. Focus on an honest message from the heart—it will be a great step towards finding the right match!  

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