We had a chance to chat with Ben, our agency president’s husband. In this short and sweet interview, he shares with us his experience as the partner of a surrogate and the role of surrogacy on their family life.
What were your thoughts when you first learned about Brie’s plan to become a surrogate?
Maybe I’m not the average husband, but I don’t remember having any big opinion on it. As long as she’s happy, she can do whatever she wants.
Tell us about the surrogacy journeys. Were there any major differences? What was your role in the journeys?
The first was a learning experience. She’s always had pretty easy pregnancies, but there was a lot of discussion about bed rest. She’s not the type of person to rest [laughs], so it was kind of a change in her personality to try to do less. With the second baby, she did have to go on full bed rest.
It seems my role was always to be supportive and help out when I could.
With each journey, she did get bigger faster. Toward the end, she was definitely struggling to move around, but that’s to be expected, especially with twins. She seemed to have it all in her belly. Brie says it was her face, but I don’t remember any of that!
Has surrogacy changed at all your family life?
[Laughs] Yeah, like if we’re shopping and [my daughters] see a pregnant woman, they ask, “Who’s that baby for?” We’ve always told them exactly what was going on, so they’ve always understood it in the best way their little kid brains can.Yeah, I could see one of them becoming a surrogate. But we’ve always encouraged them to do what they want and to live their own lives.
What was your family’s relationship with the IPs?
Out of the three, [the second set of intended parents] were the most outgoing, so the easiest to engage with. We still enjoy seeing them; the regular visits are good.
What do you think about Brie running this agency?
She loves doing the work. She loves it. I think it’s because she personally saw a good connection with her IPs. She likes being the link between the IPs and carriers… she likes being the connection between everybody. She enjoys every part of it…the ends results, happy parents, happy carriers. I think she finds all the work she puts into it rewarding.
Any advice for GC partners?
Some people worry about having too much attachment to the baby, but it was easy for me not to. I don’t know if it’s my personality, or because I understand the biology of it, but it easy to comprehend that they weren’t ours. Brie never really changed much while pregnant, but I’d say just tune in to your partner. Be available.